Imposter syndrome is a real thing, and when it rears its ugly head, it can be debilitating.
When I was in university, I used to feel like I didn’t fit in. I was surrounded by smart, intelligent, individuals who just seemed to always know what they were doing. Meanwhile, I was in a constant state of panic wondering how the hell I was going to ‘wing’ my way through my next assignment.
At my graduation, after earning a 2.1 awarded BA in Creative Writing, I felt like a fraud. I couldn’t understand how I got through, and with a decent grade at that. I must have just been lucky. It must have been all the help I’d asked for throughout, something wasn’t right.
Then I got this crazy idea to go back and do a Master’s. Who the hell I thought I was I’ll never know! But there I was, again surrounded by an even more intelligent and smart group of people, ‘winging’ my way through.
Two years later I graduated with a Master’s Degree.
Even still, there’s no way on this earth that Bev Roberts, a once 16-year-old pregnant College drop out achieved that on her own merit. It definitely was a fluke, maybe the assessor felt sorry for me, maybe it was all that help I got???
I could go on through all the achievements I’ve had this far and if I was honest about how I felt in those moments you’d be pretty shocked.
“But you always seem so confident Bev?”
“You seem to be smashing life!”
These kinds of statements only prove that you never know what’s going on behind closed doors, you can never really know how someone feels.
I’ve worked so hard to get to a point where I can comfortably congratulate myself on how far I’ve come, and I’m doing much better at it these last 3 or so years, but imposter syndrome still creeps in here and there.
I think when thoughts like this do creep in it’s so important to remember to focus on how far you’ve come and allow yourself to be proud. I do some little exercises to help me get out of my funk when I feel crap about stuff and I thought I’d share in case anyone can relate to my story.
Imagine you’re talking to a friend, what would you say to her? Write it down in a little love letter, so to speak. You can start like this:
“To that girl who never gave up, I’m so proud of you. You’ve faced challenges most people don’t even know about, and it’s time to let go of your insecurities and start enjoying the life you’ve created. You deserve nothing but happiness” etc.
If you can identify that you’re suffering from imposter syndrome then at least you can start working your way out of it. There’s nothing useful about feeling like crap about yourself. Getting out of that funk and allowing yourself to be proud of what you’ve achieved changes the game entirely.
